Much more than that
by SimplyCuteBambi
Summary: When you love someone you should tell them that every minute of the day. When you say goodnight and dream of their face hold onto it. Because time is a tricky thing.


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**An: **Hey guys! So until I get a decent number of reviews for my latest chapter of Leave me in the dark I'm just going to write random things. I mean come on 4 or 3 reviews? Really you guys can do so much better.

**Disclaimer: **I've never really owned anything of particular importance at least not to anyone else…..not enough to make anyone obsessed.

**Bella's pov **

"You're doing it again."

I blinked twice snapping back to the present as I stared at my best friend of 5 years.

"Doing what?" I asked confused.

"Every time you space out you get this really weird look on your face and you start fingering _that _necklace." Jacob commented off handedly.

"Oh." I sighed. Was I really that dysfunctional that I couldn't come up with a decent reply?

I snuck a sideways glance at my best friend. He was a lot taller now than he was back then with his jet black hair. I suppose he was what you would call handsome; not exactly striking mind you but pleasant on the eyes all the same.

"It's special to me." I finally replied choosing my words carefully.

"I figured that much." He said tearing his eyes away from the endless black sky. His brown almost black eyes met mine in an inquisitive gaze.

"Why?" He asked propping himself up on his elbows.

Why? There were so many reasons why. But none of them would make sense. At least not if I said them out loud. They'd only prove how much more pathetic I was.

"Is it some sort of good luck charm?" He finally asked realizing I wouldn't tell him that easily.

I shook my head as I fingered the necklace. It was pretty simple really. Nothing you'd notice immediately but to me it meant the world.

It was a small circular pendant with an angel on it. Not an actual angel more of a cartoonish one with the big wide eyes and all that. It was almost childish and I felt childish having to cling onto it so devotedly but I couldn't let go of it. It held so many beautiful memories.

"It was given to me by someone special." I finally said my tone neutral.

"Do tell." He said, smiling with intrigue, leaning closer to listen.

"Why do you want to know?" I asked running my hands through my hair.

"I'm bored." He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

My lips were pressed into a thin line. "So I'm here for your entertainment?" I asked dryly a hint of amusement lacing my tone.

"That's what best friends are for." He confirmed grinning at me. I rolled my eyes as I felt that memory engulf me once again the images so vivid. I can still recall every perfect detail as if it happened yesterday instead of just in the span of a year.

"_Stop fidgeting." Alice commented huffing as she repositioned the eye liner._

"_But-" I protested._

"_No buts." She said firmly as she pursued her lips in concentration._

"_It's a lot of makeup." I commented grimacing as I felt her dab more blush on my cheeks._

"_Please." Alice placed her hands on her hips and glared at me. "If we go any lighter you'd look natural." She said rolling her eyes as she rummaged around for some lip gloss._

"_Why can't we go natural?" I inquired trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach._

"_Because," She said resurfacing with the lip gloss "This is one of the most important nights of your life." She said setting to work once again._

_I rolled my eyes, "Way to make me confident Al." I mumbled as I felt my hands sweat._

"_Bella you'll be fine." She said for the millionth time that night. Her reassurance was beginning to sound more and more robotic as the evening went on. _

"_Really!" She said huffing as she stepped back to admire her work._

_A huge smile worked its way to her lips as she met my eyes "Gorgeous." She announced proudly._

_I tore my eyes away from hers to glance at my reflection in the mirror. I had to admit I did look beautiful. I was wearing a light blue elegant dress with a white blouse underneath because it was a tad too revealing from the back for my taste._

_My hair was arranged in curls framing my face perfectly and I had on a light amount of blush eye liner and lip gloss._

"_Wow Alice." I breathed trying to take it all in._

"_My sentiments exactly." I heard a soft velvety voice announce._

_I knew that voice. I would recognize it anywhere. I spun around to face my best friend Edward Cullen._

_He was wearing a pair of washed out jeans with a light blue shirt. His bronze hair was tossed to the side in a mess as always. He was _

_smiling at me my favorite crocked smile._

"_What are you doing here?" Alice fumed as she made to shut the door. Edward placed his foot in front effectively stopping his attempts. "You're not supposed to see her until the show." Alice reminded him crossing her arms over her chest._

"_I know." He said shrugging as he walked straight into the girls bathroom and over to me._

_He looked down on me tenderly and I felt the gentle beating of my heart pick up its pace, suddenly my chest felt unusually tight like the oxygen was being squeezed from me._

"_I just wanted to wish her luck." He said to Alice, his eyes never leaving my face. I gulped as I forced the butterflies down._

"_Fine." Alice resigned as she walked out closing the door._

"_How are you feeling?" He asked the minute he was sure she was out of earshot._

"_Not too good." I admitted._

_He gave me a reassuring smile. "You'll be fine Bella." I gave him a weak smile in return._

"_You love singing right?" He asked his liquid amber eyes filled with some emotion I couldn't quite get._

_I nodded._

"_So there's nothing to worry about." He deemed grinning at me._

"_What if I mess up?" I asked quietly. "What if people don't like me?" "What if I freeze in the middle of the song because I can't remember the lyrics?" I shot question after question my breath coming out in ragged puffs._

_Edward's musical laugh brought a smile to my lips. "Bella you really need to stop worrying so much…..they'll love you." He said taking my hand in his and squeezing it for reassurance._

_I looked at our intertwined hands wondering if he felt the same spark I did. _

"_If I give you something will you calm down?" He asked his hands leaving mine. I instantly missed the warmth it provided._

"_Depends." I said raising my eye brows. Edward knew how I felt about gifts._

"_Don't worry I didn't buy anything." He assured me chuckling as he reached under his shirt. He took his favorite necklace. The one he wore all the time with the angel._

"_Edward what are you doing?" I asked confusion etched into my face._

"_I want you to wear this." He said handing me the necklace._

"_But it's your favorite-"_

_He raised his hands to silent my protest. "Please." He said giving me the puppy dog look he knew I couldn't resist._

"_It's always been a good luck charm for me." He said as he stood behind me. He placed it over my neck where it lay gracefully._

"_I hope it brings you luck as well." He said stepping back as he eyed the necklace on my neck._

_I fingered it and smiled "Thanks……it means a lot to me." I said softly._

"_Anytime." He said grinning from ear to ear._

"_Bella?" Alice called from outside the girl's bathroom. "It's time." She announced as she opened the door._

_I swallowed thickly as I gulped and nodded. "Good luck." Edward said as he winked at me._

"_Don't kill her Alice." Edward said chuckling as he walked out._

_Alice rolled her eyes as she gave me a once over then gestured to the door a huge grin on her face. I walked slowly putting one foot in front of the other dreading the moment when I'd climb on stage._

"So he gave it to you as a good luck charm?" Jacob asked an eye brow raised.

"Pretty much." I said shrugging.

"But don't you get tired of wearing it all the time?" He asked exasperated.

"It just feels _something's missing _when I take it off." I explained shrugging my shoulders.

"_Ok you're up." Ms. Cleo said grinning at me as the crowd clapped._

"_You nervous?" She asked taking in my panicked expression and the way I wrung my hands as I gazed around in the darkness in terror._

"_Is it that obvious?" I asked a small smile playing on my lips._

"_You'll do fine don't worry." Ms. Cleo reassured me her brown eyes sparkling with warmth. _

"_Thanks." I said giving her a tight smile._

" _Up next is one of our very talent students…. performing the very famous song white horse sung by VMA's award winner Taylor swift…..give it up for…..Isabella Swan." I heard the crowd clap politely as I went up and took the mike from Rosalie who mouthed good luck and smiled._

_I smiled back and held the mike close to my mouth as the music started to play._

_I squinted as I tried to look for my friends or anyone I knew in the first row but the light was too harsh. I could see nothing but dark outlines._

_I sighed as I looked to my left second row and I saw my mum my sister and my aunt waving. I grinned and waved back as I saw my sister press the record button on her mobile. I ignored the butterflies and the warning voice inside my head._

_I took a deep breath as I knew the part where I start singing was rapidly approaching. I felt the necklace on my neck and it gave me the surge of confidence I needed._

"_Say you're sorry that face of an angel comes out just when you need it to……As I pace back and forth all this time 'cuz I honestly believed in you." I started softly, aware of my heart beating painfully fast._

"You don't sing much ever since huh?" Jacob his voice laced with sympathy.

"Not really," I muttered, "after that show everything changed for the better and for the worse."

"But you rocked right?" Jacob said grinning as he sat Indian style facing me.

"It didn't really matter if I rocked it…..because I finally had the confidence to do what I always wanted to do……sing loudly and passionately and not be afraid of it….." I trailed off as Jacob eyed me, a curious expression on his face.

"What?" I asked, I was suddenly very self concious of myself.

"I've never seen you talk like that about something." He confessed.

I gave him a small smile as I bit down hard on my lip "When I sing I let people see who I really am." I confessed.

"You let yourself get lost in the music?" He asked quietly his voice understanding.

I nodded.

"_It's too late to catch me now……" I finished as I caught my mum's eyes and grinned. I nearly fell over with shock at the huge applause I was getting. I did a mock curtsy and smiled at all of the audience hoping that my friends and he knew that this smile was for them._

_Rosalie came back on stage as I started to feel the blush rise to my cheek since everyone was still clapping. She smiled at me and this time I managed to grin breathlessly at her as I handed her the mike and just as I was heading back stage I heard my aunt yell, "You rock!"_

_I laughed as I walked through the back door grinning like a complete idiot. It felt so great to be up there. To get over my stage fright even if it was for such a short time. _

_I went back to my seat in the audience in the back and sat down and watched the next act still smiling to myself. As the show approached the end and everyone started moving my eyes scanned the audience for a certain bronze haired amber eyed boy but I couldn't see him._

"_We hope you enjoyed the show." Rosalie and Ms. Cleo announced as everyone clapped. As everyone got up to leave random people I didn't know came up and told me what an amazing voice I had._

_Even parents did the same. It was all so overwhelming. I felt so alive but I also felt very flushed._

"_Oh my gosh Bells you were incredible," Alice exclaimed hugging me so tight. _

"_Thanks." I said still grinning as I hugged her back._

"_Ok Al, Lemme go. I'm gonna choke." I gasped after a while as Alice's grip tightened. _

"_Whoops," She giggled, "Sorry." She said smiling sheepishly as she released me from her death grip. "I'm just so proud of you." She gushed as she linked her arm through mine._

"_Bella that was amazingly amazing." Angel said smiling at me. _

"_Thank you." I said blushing yet again. Curse my shyness!_

_We walked to our lockers everyone who passed by giving me congratulations._

_There was one person however, who didn't congratulate me. I felt my heart sink in my stomach as the last person left and I was still standing waiting for Alice to get her books._

"_Hey Al, you haven't seen Edward have you?" I asked trying to sound casual._

"_Oh he left right after the show with Jazz and Em. Something about a boy's night out." She said waving her hand dismissively as she shut her locker._

"So he left without congratulating you?" Jacob asked his expression both horrified and shocked.

"Ouch." He said as he rubbed his arms together.

"Aren't you cold?" He asked noticing my shivering. I hadn't really noticed how cold it was to be honest. I was just so immersed in the memory.

"Let's go inside." I declared standing up as I brushed my pants.

"Last one in is a rotten egg." He said grinning like a little child as he took off.

I ran and easily beat him up. "No fair." Jake said pouting and sulking like a 5 year old.

"Aww is poor little Jake upset?" I teased in a childish voice.

"Uh huh." He said sounding genuinely upset.

"Too bad." I said shrugging as I grinned.

"You're mean" He said sticking his tongue out.

"Real mature Jake." I said rolling my eyes.

We grabbed some snacks from the fridge and sat down on the couch.

_I changed out of my dress and fingered the soft fabric as I hung it up. I still felt like I was on cloud nine but only one thing brought me down._

_Edward still hadn't called or anything. I heard my phone ringing announcing I had a message._

_I shut my closet door and plopped down on my bed as I read the message_

_I smiled as I read who it was from:_

_Bella_

_You were so amazing. I'm so proud of you!_

_xxEdward_

_I grinned as I replied:_

_Thanks *blushes* I'm not so sure I looked good though._

_xxBella_

_I got a reply almost instantly_

_Your welcome *grins* you looked great!_

_xxxxEdward_

_I smiled as I texted back:_

_Thank you *blushes* oh please remind me to give you the necklace back._

_xxBella_

_Your welcome! And you can keep it!_

_My mouth nearly fell to the ground in shock as I texted furiously_

_But it's your favorite charm…..I couldn't possibly!_

_xxxBella_

_Don't even think about giving it back to me! It's a gift, think of it as a friendship necklace_

"So it was a gift?" Jacob asked between mouthfuls of ice cream, "Probably why you wear it all the time." He concluded.

"Actually I just got so used to it……like I said I feel confident when I'm wearing it." I explained as I took a scoopful of ice cream

"So then what happened?" Jake asked curiously licking ice cream off his mouth.

"You sound like one of those nosy gossip girls." I blurted out without thinking.

Jacob looked offended as he smirked, "That's because I hang around you too much." He said beaming as he gestured for me to continue.

_Our relationship changed after the talent show I'm not really sure why or if it was for better or worse. In some ways we were closer but we hung out less._

_I sighed as I dropped my pen finishing off the last assignment. I decided to log in to see if anyone was there to chat._

_I smiled as I saw Edward online:_

_Lost in my own world: Hey! Long time no talk._

_Lost in music: Hey bells! Yea it's been a while…..how have you been?"_

_Lost in my own world: I've been good……you?_

_Lost in music: I've been good too._

_Lost in my own world: So I'm guessing you need a new necklace instead of the one you gave me._

_Lost in music: Really? How do you figure that?_

_Lost in my own world: Well because the other one meant so much to you……are you sure you don't want it back?_

_Lost in music: I'm positive! It's a gift……would it make you feel better if you gave me something in return?_

_Lost in my own world: What do you mean?_

_Lost in music: Well a necklace you like…it could be like a friendship necklace. That way you have one and I have one._

_Lost in my own world: Ok you're starting to sound a lot like Alice._

_Lost in music: Ah the little pixie's effect._

_I went to school the next day and met him in our literature class. I told him to close his eyes as I placed one of my favorite necklaces in his hand._

_It was a simple seashell necklace._

_He opened his eyes and grinned as he put it on. "I love it" He exclaimed beaming at me._

_I couldn't help but smile back._

"Awww what a touching story." Jake said pretending to wipe away a tear.

I reached for a pillow and hit him on the head.

"Ouch," He yelped. "What was that for?" He asked rubbing his head in mock hurt.

"I just felt like it" I said grinning as I poked my tongue out.

"Who's immature now?" He retorted.

I stopped sticking my tongue out "It's still you." I smirked as he smiled at me.

"So then what?" He asked leaning his head back lazily.

"Well we went from friends to best friends to boyfriend and girlfriend." I said a wistful smile on my lips.

"Really?" He asked his eyebrows scrunched up in confusion.

"But you guys are so distant now." He said trying to put two and two together.

"Well there was _the _fight." I said quietly feeling the pain in my chest that I had ignored for so long open up again.

"_Bella I just don't think I can do this anymore." Edward said painfully looking away._

"_What do you mean?" I asked my breath catching in my throat._

"_We fight all the time. We always disagree and we're always hurting each other!" He said raking his fingers through his hair._

"_But we can work this out." I said pleadingly as I looked up to meet his tear filled eyes._

"_No we can't Bella." He said as a tear slowly slid down his cheek._

_I tore my eyes away from his as I felt the tears gush down my face. "Bella please don't cry." He said in a strained voice._

"_But I don't want you to leave me." I hiccupped looking at him through tear strained eyes. "You're everything to me……what am I going to do without you?" I whispered softly as he looked away an unimaginably pained expression on his face._

"_You're everything to me too Bella that's why I'm doing this……I love you……so I'm letting you go." He finally said his voice hoarse with emotion._

_I couldn't stand to see his pained face anymore so before I knew what I was doing I took off running. Despite Edward's protests I kept going forward willing my legs and my clumsiness to not make me break down._

_I reached my house and slammed the door shut behind me as I raced up the stairs._

_I flung myself on the bed and cried. I cried for all that never was and never will be. When you love someone you should tell them that _

_every minute of the day. Always remind of them how much you love them even if they say they know. Because it's never enough. When you say goodnight and dream of their face hold onto it. Because time is a tricky thing. Study every inch of their face because it might be the last time you see them._

_I heard my cell ringing and I was too tired to actually ignore it._

_I pressed the phone to my ear and whispered a dull "Hello."_

"_Bella! Oh my god, Bella are you alright?" Edward's frantic voice asked._

"_I'm fine." I replied wiping away the tears._

"_Thank God," He breathed a sigh of relief "You had me so worried." He said and I could imagine him running a hand through his bronze hair._

"_Bella," He sighed "I still want us to be friends……I can't lose you completely." He admitted. "I wouldn't be able to bare it."_

_I sighed "Me either." I admitted quietly._

"_If being friends is what makes you happy I'll do it." I declared._

"_But what about what makes you happy?" He stressed on the word you._

"_Doesn't matter." I said dully._

"_Yes it does." He argued._

"_No it doesn't……if being just friends will make you happy then I'll do it…..I want you to be happy." I said the last part quietly._

_I heard a pause and then Edward sighed._

"_I guess I'll talk to you later then." He said uncertainly._

"_Yeah whatever." I said curtly. I knew I was probably being rude but I didn't care, he really hurt me and I couldn't bear that agonizing pain._

_We both hung up, there was nothing more to say._

"So that's why you never mention him……it's a sore subject." Jake concluded eyeing me with a mixture of sadness and sympathy.

"I never got over him." I admitted quietly as I bit my lip to keep the tears back.

I learnt two things that night at the talent show.

One that I never felt quite so confident and powerful and beautiful as when I was up on the stage.

And two the necklace felt like it belonged right on my neck where it should stay.

It was so much more than a charm bracelet. And it always would be whether people got it or not.

It was one of the last things I had of Edward that was a memory of a better time. Not filled with regret or sadness but happiness and trust and most importantly love.

A love that I'll never forget.


End file.
